What is the name of
the fairy tale about a woman who uses her premium charge card to
purchase aspirin for herself and two friends? Gold Deluxe and the three
should you walk carefully when it's raining cats and dogs. Because you
might step in a poodle.
it a bad idea to tell jokes while ice skating. Because the ice may crack
state has lots of cats and dogs? Pets-sylvania.
did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner.
was the young rooster not allowed to hang out with the ducks on the
other side of the pond. His mom was afraid one day he would form a quack
jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, we'll serve you just
don't start anything.
Do you know how to make ice water? Answer: take an onion and a knife,
cut the onion and your ice water.
starts with a P, ends with an E and has thousands of letters in it.
Answer is a Post Office.
music make you think? It made Stevie Wonder.
peanuts walk into a bar. One was asalted.
do you get if you cross a freeway with a bicycle. Killed.
you make an orange laugh? Tickle its Navel.
do Smokey the Bear and Winnie the Pooh have in common. The same middle
chicken crosses the road, rolls in the mud and then crosses back, what
is it? A dirty double crosser.
bees have sticky hair? Because they always use honeycombs.
is a perpetual beaver colony? Eternal dam nation.
What do you call a
crate of ducks. A box of quackers.
A man takes his
Rottweiler to the vet and says, My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything
you can do for him? Well, says the vet, let's have a look at him. So he
picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally
he says, I'm going to have to put him down. What!! Why, because he's
cross-eyed? No! Because he's heavy.
A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, Sorry we don't
serve food here.